Script-free speaking

Earlier this month, I spoke on behalf of Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in America at an event organized by NY State Senator, Robert Jackson. Speakers included the senator, assembly members, the DA office, and other district leaders.

It was my first IRL (not Zoom) speaking engagement in years.

Two weeks before, I felt all the familiar creeping of anxiety and perfectionism: “This needs to be incredible. You need to say something brilliant.”

It's hard to argue with that. But the problem I see is how we respond to that perfectionism.

If you feel rusty speaking to a group of real people in real life, you might be feeling like you need a script to read or a text to memorize. And you may be mourning the loss of your Zoom speaker notes - that invisible guide that keeps you on track. I get it.

A script promises “safety” in front of an audience - it’s gives your hands something to hold onto, it gives you a “safe place” for your eyes to focus. But most of all it promises to save you from losing your train of thought - or worst of all - going completely blank.

But here’s the downside: Reading a script often makes you speak in an unnatural way, a little too formal or stiff. And a memorized script, makes you caught up in your own head, not in the room. Plus, should the script vanish or your memory lapse, your brain will try to remember exact phrasing and words rather than the many other possible options.

So, if you are holding onto the idea of a script and mourning the loss of Zoom speaker notes, here’s one thing you can try:

Ask yourself - “How do I want to feel while I’m giving my presentation/talk?” “What does that feel like?”

But don’t stop there. Go into that feeling. If you want to feel confident - what does confidence feel like for you? When in your life have you felt that way? Really get a body sense of how that confidence feels. Ground yourself in that feeling.

In the days before the event, I did this. Rather than letting my brain go into overdrive, getting tied up in my highest of high expectations, I got crystal clear on how I wanted to feel while I was speaking to the audience.

The feeling I wanted was one of loving connection. And that’s what I got. All the way.