Kill the jargon and surprise yourself with how you answer this question: who are you and what do you care about?

Two weeks ago, I moved out of NYC and settled in a house in Nyack. After 25 years in the city - in apartments across Manhattan and Brooklyn - I now have a backyard, a front porch, sunflowers, and a basement.

A few years ago, I fainted during a mammogram. I woke up in a wheelchair with nurses and smelling salts in my face… I learned something important that day: Saying “just relax” in the face of stress is not an effective strategy for me.

A script promises “safety” in front of an audience - it’s gives your hands something to hold onto, it gives you a “safe place” for your eyes to focus. But most of all it promises to save you from losing your train of thought - or worst of all - going completely blank.

Brave Speaking Rule #5: Believe that self-compassion will make you better 

Last year I was hired to teach a confidence and public speaking class to a group of 20 employees over Zoom. After the initial thrill, I set up shop in my 18 shades of panic.

I’ve talked with several women over the past two weeks - all very accomplished in their careers and happy in their jobs – who are experiencing the same issue: the moment they start talking about their work in front of a camera or in an interview-type situation, things get really, really dull.

I’m late to the Mel Robbins party and her incredible 5-second rule, but I’ve totally fallen in love with it.

In high school, I considered poison to avoid a debate. Literally, I asked my mom for a 24-hour poison (which she declined). Twenty years later as an Senior VP, I begged colleagues to give my talks. Yes, it was embarrassing, but the alternative seemed even worse.

Just the idea of speaking to an audience kicks off a chain of reactions:

1. My arms feel heavy and useless – they’re at a loss for what to do.

2. My body is gone. Where did it go?

3. I find myself – I’m entirely in my throat.

4. I am speaking but not breathing – then breathing but not speaking.

The thing that changed everything for me was a public speaking go-bag. The goal is to get your go-bag intros and stories “on-tap.”

I like to record voice memos in the morning. Like journaling - without the writing. But I get annoyed by how choppy and hesitant I can sound. This morning – 6am, post-meditation and super loose – I tried something different.

This challenge takes aim at an obstacle that gets in the way of living boldly: The fear of being judged

When my daughter was learning to canter, she asked her instructor if she could ride Pepe, her favorite horse at the barn.

“Pepe isn’t good with ambiguity,” her instructor said.

Most of us dread public speaking. We duck, dodge and run. It’s no wonder we aren’t good at it.

It’s Tuesday morning and I’m taking a break from work to make some sourdough bread. Yes, I’m sticking with it. I use my handy scraper tool to shape the dough and lift the sticky parts off the counter: small, easy, upward motions from every angle.

When most of your working life has been spent in new business war rooms with teams of people PowerPointing into the night, the current reality is worlds apart.